Normalcy
by valonqar
Summary: When they're just walking through the Presidium hand in hand, not fighting reapers and trying desperately to save a galaxy that still refuses to listen to a word they have to say, she can almost pretend that their relationship is…normal. Shenko drabble, mid-ME3.


When they're just walking through the Presidium hand in hand, not fighting reapers and trying desperately to save a galaxy that still refuses to listen to a word they have to say, she can almost pretend that their relationship is…_normal_.

He's prattling on about something - hockey, she thinks? hockey is always a safe bet with Kaidan - and he's making all-too-dramatic arm motions and grinning like an idiot, eyes lighting up with the child-like excitement that always seems to come when he speaks about his home, and Shepard can't help but find herself completely incapable of paying attention to his words. Instead she takes in every bit of him; the dimples in his cheeks, the lines under his eyes from another late night (_partially her fault, she'll admit to that_), the way he clenches her hand just a little too tight when he speaks about something particularly exciting.

Shit. How much she loves him always seems to take her by surprise - honestly, she's not sure if she'll ever get used to it.

She's not sure she wants to.

Suddenly he's stopping them, however, tugging her hand to pull her to a stop and effectively snapping her out of her daydreams, and for a moment Shepard's afraid he's going to get mad at her for not listening to him (she still says t's hardly her fault he's so damn distracting) But then his eyes are wandering to a young Asari running around, her Krogan father chasing after her desperately, and for not the first time she wonders what's going on in that gorgeous head of his.

"You ever want one?" Kaidan asks, sounding just a little nervous, and she's honestly not entirely sure what he's trying to get at.

"An Asari?" Her voice is only half teasing, the other half embarrassingly confused. "I thought I already told you - the hair tentacles creep me out. But I guess I'm willing to try something new if you are."

He doesn't even try to hide his eyeroll, but he can't hide the small chuckle that escapes his lips either, and she grins, entirely satisfied with herself. The grin is wiped away with shock a moment later, though, when he clears his throat and awkwardly elaborates.

"No, I mean…you know, I mean…a baby."

For a moment she's shocked. Then she's even more confused than she was before, because who knew Kaidan was even thinking about that? And then - and no matter how hard she tries, no matter how badly she wants to resist - there's a warmth spreading across her chest, a happier feeling than she's felt in a long time, and no matter how hard she tries to keep it off her face she just can't.

"I'd be away all the time, and so would you," she replies, a pathetic attempt at avoiding the question just a moment longer. "I've been a spacer kid - it's a rough life." But she knows that's not an answer, and he knows it as well as she does. _Of course he does. _Asshole, just _has_ to be able to read her like a book. Sometimes she loves it; the majority of the time, it makes her want to punch him in the face.

"Think beyond that," he frowns, eyebrows creasing in what looks almost like disappointment. "Do you ever want one? With me, obviously." _Obviously. _Shep doesn't point out that he really didn't need to include that last part - if it was anyone other than him, they wouldn't even be having this conversation.

They _still _shouldn't be having this conversation.

But then she thinks of a little girl with tanned skin and dark eyes like her daddy, a little girl playing hockey and playing with model spaceships and trying to break into mommy's gun collection (a thought which shouldn't please her anywhere _near _as much as it does). And most of all she thinks of Kaidan, Kaidan as a father, Kaidan as the father of her child, and there's something about that thought that makes her happier than she's ever been in her life.

"Yeah," she answers finally, unable to ignore the way his face lights up at his words. "Yeah, I think I would."

He doesn't attempt to hide his cat-ate-the-canary grin for the rest of the day. Not that it bothers her - she's almost positive she's wearing the same one.


End file.
